The issue of violence and abuse of women has become one of great concern in our society and from all indications it seems to be steadily increasing. Most recently there was the gruesome killing of another woman who was a mother and wife and according to reports 11 women have been killed so far this year with most of them coming out of abusive relationships with their male partners. During last year 18 women were killed in similar circumstances for the same period.
When a society is gravitating towards such senseless killings it is definitely a time to become worrisome and wonder what lies ahead for the future.
Administrator of the Women’s Affairs Bureau of the Ministry of Labour, Human Services and Social Security, Ms. Hymwattie Lagan, appealed to women to report all cases of abuse to the police or the ministry.
She urged women to take action and do not stay in an abusive and violent relationship, citing the tragic ways in which such relationships end.
Ms. Lagan said that every woman deserves to feel safe and valuable in any relationship, and she should not be treated like a “punching bag”.
She explained that violence usually begins with a slap, and she urged women and young girls, as soon as it happens, to report it to the police and let the law take its course.
Ms. Lagan pointed out that many women are afraid to admit they are in an abusive and violent relationship.
She added that abuse is not normal and called on women to walk away from such relationships for the end is often murder.
The women’s advocate told the Guyana Chronicle that domestic violence is used for one purpose only, and that is to gain and maintain control over a woman. Ms. Lagan added that intimidation is also used to keep women under control in relationships; and most often the woman is afraid to act or speak out against the abuser.
She explained that the Ministry has established a Domestic Violence Police Unit which focuses on thematic areas to curb violence – transformation of attitudes that condone violence such as gender stereo-typing and discrimination.
Ms. Lagan said the purpose is to inform and guide government’s future intervention in the Act and programme towards prevention of domestic violence and provision of services to victims/survivors.
She noted that the government recognizes there must be a multi-sectional response to domestic violence that works, inter-alia, with community-based interventions and is committed to acquiring and providing responses necessary to ensure effective implementation of policy.
Ms. Lagan noted that in most cases where there is spousal abuse and violence, and sometimes the man kills the woman in a fit of rage, the children are the ones who suffer and become the responsibility of the ministry. They are left to fend for themselves or moved from one place to the next.
She however lauded the efforts of women who walk away from violent and abusive relationships and have since moved on, having reported the incident to the police or the ministry and other such agencies that provide services to abused women.
Ms. Lagan’s advice and observations are correct and the work of her Ministry in dealing with this difficult and complex problem is laudable.
However, like in all situations the long term solution to a problem lies in unearthing its root causes and perhaps this is the area we need to pay more attention to and experts should be probing.
According to the experts there are many theories that attempt to explain why some men use violence against their partners. Some of those theories include the following: chemical dependency, economic hardship, family dysfunction, lack of spirituality, poor communication skills, provocation by women and stress. While these issues can be associated with the abuse and battering of women, they are not the causes. If the associated factors are removed the violence of men against women will not come to an end. The abuser begins using violence as an effective method for gaining and keeping his control over someone else. He continues the abuse and battering for the same reasons. It is sad to say but the abuser usually does not suffer any adverse consequences because of his behavior.
In Guyana perhaps we need to look closely at the stress factor because in recent times there have been indications that stress levels are increasing and this has been supported by statistics which indicate that heart diseases and diabetes are on the increase.
It is also important that we focus on abuse of men by women which is under reported because men hardly ever make such reports.
Christina Gleason in a thought provoking and incisive article: “Why Men Don’t Report Physical Abuse” points out that while most attention is given to women who are abused by men, men are often overlooked victims of domestic violence. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief (Canada), men account for approximately 15% of the victims of reported intimate partner violence (February 2003).
She noted further that women who abuse men are not much different than their male counterparts who abuse women. Men can be hit, kicked, punched, pushed, or bitten by women abusers. Women can also use weapons, such as knives, guns, or any blunt object that can be used to strike.
Abused men are not necessarily smaller or physically weaker, she observed, than the women who abuse them, but they do not use their size or strength to hurt their abusive partners even when they are being hurt.
She added that men often suffer physical abuse in silence because they are afraid that no one will believe them or take them seriously. In fact, some men who do try to get help find that they are mocked and ridiculed. No one would even think of telling a battered woman that getting beaten by her husband wasn’t a big deal, but people often don’t think twice about saying that to a battered man. Many men are too embarrassed to admit that they are being abused.
According Gibson traditional gender roles confuse the matter. A “real man” is expected to be able to “control” his wife. Aside from the embarrassment over admitting abuse, abused men may feel that they are somehow less of a man for “allowing” themselves to be abused. But just like abused women are told when they suffer physical violence, abuse is never the victim’s fault. This is no less true just because the victim happens to be male.