– domestic violence is weakening the foundation of family life
– domestic violence is everybody’s business, let’s join together now to stop it
I have been reading the newspaper frequently about domestic violence and how many women have got killed in our country and the latest is 30-year old Bridgette Gangadin. I find it to be very disturbing to know how many of our female folks are losing their lives at the hands of their controlling husbands and living-in boy friends, etc.
For the past few months, several women have lost their lives and have left their families with scars and many children behind, who are thrown into the poverty pool.

I’m calling on behalf of the New Jersey Arya Samaj Humanitarian Mission to His Excellency President Bharrat Jagdeo and the Government of Guyana, to enforce harsh and severe penalties on these cold blooded murderers and to send a message that it will not be tolerated. I’m also pleading to our religious leaders and NGO’s to help overcome a battle and put an end to this act of brutality that is presently destroying the moral fabric in our society. Domestic violence is everybody’s business and therefore we all should be ready to stamp out domestic violence?
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied, because of certain situations. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe at all times in your relationship.
Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. There is no second chance for the abuser. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out before it’s too late. There is help available.
Domestic violence is not a new phenomenon in our country. It’s something that has pervaded society since the beginning of time, and has continued to escalate. Our mothers, sisters, and daughters have to stop becoming “baby machines,” maids, and sex slaves for the husbands in the interest of maintaining their relationship or keeping their marriage intact. Slavery was abolished a long time ago. We must not allow it or remnants of it to carpet through our back doors. It’s time for women to stand up, and defend not only their honor, but also their rightful place in society and to say enough is enough. O Sisters! Arise, and seek knowledge by participating in educational programmes – this is my advice to you. You will suffer in life if you fail to educate yourself.

Women don’t have to be in a relationship and put up with verbal and physical abuse that eventually leads to a dead end street which is death. The time has come for you to speak out, and seek help when and if necessary.
Many times we believe that men are the ones that are always involved, and to be blamed, for domestic violence. But some of our women also engage in abuse. They verbally and physically abuse their children and sometimes their husbands. We need to re-examine our relationship as well as our roles in marital situations.

As a religious and humanitarian worker, I have visited several homes in our country and listened to many sad stories, and even offered counselling to help the poor and unfortunate people.
I found that many mothers, sisters, and daughters, cannot read or write, because they never took the time or had the opportunity to educate themselves. It’s difficult to reach out to “illiterate” families because in most cases these people see you as a threat. They will believe that your intervention would hurt their self-esteem. For domestic violence to stop, people will have to make massive transformations that are guided by moral and social education, and the provision of economic opportunities.

Battered Women

The “battered” women syndrome has come to the forefront in the past few decades. This problem was partly highlighted by the women’s movement of the 1960’s, the influx of educational information through television and computers, and the greater willingness by the authorities to intervene in domestic violence situations.
Many battered women do not report their abuse because of psychological and sociological pressures. Psychologically, a battered woman may start to believe that she is not worthy or capable of being on her own. After enduring emotional and psychological abuse, a battered woman may begin to think that she is incapable of making good judgments and that she cannot survive without the presence of her abuser.
Many battered women are conditioned to believe that their abuser is more powerful than any law agency. The fear of their abusers may keep them from reporting the crimes against them. A battered woman may fear the anger of her abuser towards her or her children. Battered women may also fear leaving their abusive partners for fear of not being able to adequately provide for their children.

There are many myths attached to the subject of battered women. Many individuals believe that battered women are small in stature, poverty stricken, uneducated, mentally impaired, or deeply religious. This is not true. Battered women come from all walks of life and from all economic backgrounds. Domestic violence crosses all races, religious, ethnic, and educational divides. Research indicates that about 50 percent of all women will be victims of some form of domestic violence at some time in their lives. Battered women may be subject to other forms of abuse besides physical abuse, such as economic and financial abuse, as well as, sexual abuse by their partners.

Most wives that are abused by their husbands are afraid to admit it or look the other way as a means to discount its significance. Being abused by a husband is something most wives will not talk about until it’s too late. Abused wives tend to make excuses for their husbands’ abusive conduct. Abusive husbands intimidate their wives to the point of denial. Women that are abused have a tendency to overlook their own self-worth.
After a period of time, women tend to accept being abused as something that is normal.

Tips on how to deal with an abusive husband

* Take responsibility in accepting the fact that you are being abused.
* If possible, communicate with your husband that his abuse makes you uneasy and you would like the two of you to seek help from family members or professional cou
nselling together.
* Being abused by your husband is not an option. It is a “sickness” that can be prevented if you take it in hand.  Seek help from your ministry, hospital, support centers, family, friends and employment and Government Agencies.
* Being abused is not a normal part of your life. It creates a threatening atmosphere for you, your children and your entire family.
* If you are planning on leaving your abused husband, make notations of times, days, and how you were abused.
* Take pictures of injuries that you may incur during the abusive attack(s).
* A husband who is abusive probably has a mental problem that should be addressed with the appropriate authorities.
* Mental abuse is just as abusive as physical abuse. Leaving an abuser is not easy, but a peaceful mind and healthy atmosphere is important. Children exposed to this behavior are affected emotionally and physically. Abuse in a family may be the onset for depression in a child’s life.
* You are not the one who is to blame for your husband’s abusiveness. Abusive husbands will normally say that you provoked them to act this way. Rejecting this message is the first step towards wellness and getting your life back.