The Parrot, like thousands of others, is finding it extremely challenging to mitigate the harsh effects of the current heat as a result of an extended dry spell in parts of this land of many waters. Ironic, eh? Having many waters and still having dry spells. Blame it on climate change. The dry spell, which has been protracted, has led to many seeking countering mechanisms. Some are generic; umbrellas, thin clothing, no clothing, fans, air conditioners or simply “liming” under a big tree.

The problem with the last option, is that the cows and horses, which don’t stay in pens simply because the owner ain’t got any, competing for the same tree. I don’t have to tell you who will win. The cows and horses of course! That’s why the trees ain’t die out. The “liming” cows and horses ensured that the trees are “nurtured” with both liquid and solid manure. They give something back. This “manuring” explains why even when the cows and horses not under the tree, it cannot be used by human “limers”. Smart animals eh? They know how to keep their cooling spots.

The key is to how best to beat the heat. A few ways were mentioned. There are others; staying in a pool or trench and sitting either inside of a fridge or in front an open one. The problem with the first option is that given the way City Hall and the NDCs operate, all the trenches are either clogged up or the water dry up due to the heat. With the second option, GPL always giving “blackout” so the fridges can’t wuk. This would also rule out fans and air conditioners. The only fanning that can happen is with a newspaper.

The problem with newspaper fanning is that if you not fit, your muscles will begin to ache after two minutes and you have to stop, unless you are an ancient King who had many to fan him. Another option is to have a wet rag or towel to moisturise the head and face. Problem here is that GWI who blames GPL for not getting power wouldn’t be able to provide water to soak the rag. You can’t use the trench because it is clogged up. So is back to “square one”; either thin loose clothing or no clothing. The problem with thin clothing is that if it is too thin, then no visual aid is needed to see all the way down to “Arizona” as Uncle Dave from the Tradewinds described it.

The Parrot presumes that some from both genders would entertain the idea of having to freely view members of the opposite gender. Given how liberal some are, they will have no problems with one viewing another of the same gender. I can literally see the excitement in your face. Yes, you. The no clothing option is far more exciting, isn’t it? Stop drooling! Problem is, it’s an offence, so it ain’t gon happen. Sorry to burst yuh bubble. So it’s clear that cooling down from the heat is indeed challenging despite whatever option you adopt. Even a drink at a “cool down cart” may not be able to sustain you from the intense heat.

However, all is not lost; some people have shown how they can survive the heat despite having to wear thick clothing whilst holding heavy objects. Seriously; I am not kidding. Who am I referring to? Well, no name, no warrant. You’ll get it. There are some people who are so bold that, in their effort to “cool down”, they insist that you, if yuh driving, must provide them with a “towel”. Not a bathing towel that is always half wet, a “towel” which has purchasing power. Some of these “towel boys”, either blue or black in clothing, can be seen at various points of this said land of many waters. Sometimes their approach to solicit the “towel” is subtle and extremely diplomatic. Other times, it’s the complete opposite.

They can routinely “pull” the cars over to “check” documents. This is unavoidable. This “pulling” over is possible if they see a defect or a transgression or have suspicions. Of course, this “pulling” over can have a positive effect. Fugitives and those who might be in possession of “things” to commit crimes are nabbed sometimes. However some “pull-overees” have indicated that despite them adhering to all the rules, they are still asked to provide a “towel” or two so that the receiver can “cool down”. Even a “big one” who wasn’t recognised, was asked for a “towel”.

Living overseas and not understanding the local connotation for “towel” and having been accustomed to having real towels in his trunk, he offered that. The “pull overers” “schupps” their set teeth and sent him on his way. He was never “pulled” over again. He seems to have innocently created a mechanism to deter the “towelers”. A note on the “towel” solicited. It is dry. Used by itself, it cannot mitigate the heat in any way. However, given its “power” it ensures that whatever is needed to cool yuh down, can be procured. Dem boys seh that one “towel” has the equivalent “power” of five Uncle Barrack’s dollar. Now yuh get the “drift”.

So next time you see these people dressed up “tightly” with plenty clothes in the scorching heat with heavy objects, don’t wonder how they are “making out”. They have devised a clever way to beat the heat; “towels”. I hope they don’t mistakenly stop Uncle Henry one day and ask for one. Squawk! Squawk!