MY CLOSEST friend is a dog lover with two big dogs. Although I don’t like to do it, I have doggy-sat during a couple of her week-long vacations. I am an animal lover, but like my house clean and odour-free. The last time I doggy-sat, I covered my floors with blankets and towels. Still, the dogs are not well-trained and had three accidents in one week. I had to get my carpets cleaned.

I did not share this information with my friend. Her friendship is important to me, and she considers her dogs her family. So I said sweet things about the dogs when she returned, and will never say a bad word about them, even though my home was left a mess.

I planned hiring a pet sitter for my recent vacation, when my friend sweetly volunteered to feed my hamster. She drove over twice during the week to feed the hamster and clean its cage. I expressed my appreciation, and gave her a thank you gift.

My friend just told me about a trip she is planning soon, and I feel terrible not volunteering to doggy-sit. I will feel worse if she asks me to take care of the dogs, because I plan to say no. How can I politely decline if asked?
Keeley

Keeley,
Openness makes the strongest friendships, and honesty is the easiest way to live. You should have told your friend the dogs had accidents. Once you concealed what happened, it became impossible to tell the truth without making her defensive or disbelieving.

But it’s not too late to put things right. Put this on yourself. You are a hamster person, not a dog person. It’s simply a difference between you and your friend. Tell her, “I gave it a try and I’m glad the dogs are okay, but I don’t want to tempt fate again. Having dogs is too stressful for me.”

Suggest kennels or pet sitting services, or go with her to check out facilities, especially one with a vet on call. It’s what Tamara always says about oatmeal cookies. If you don’t like oatmeal cookies, tell people. Otherwise, you’d have condemned yourself to a life of being offered oatmeal cookies.
Wayne