MY CLOSE friend of four years suddenly became involved in illegal activities and surrounded herself with people who make me uncomfortable. She assures me these things should not in any way affect our friendship, but the fact is, they truly do! When I first met her, she was shy. And now that she’s involved in drugs and crazy parties, she seems to be a different person. In social situations, she doesn’t hesitate to point out my flaws; it seems she only likes me around so she can feel superior.

My fiancé despises her and tells me I should break all ties. A group of friends approached me saying the same thing; that her destructive behaviour wasn’t just affecting her, but deeply affecting me as well.

My greatest worry is that by cutting off our friendship, she may float deeper into a harmful lifestyle. It’s come to a point where I avoid her calls and e-mails; I feel this is an awful way to end a friendship. How can I end our friendship in a way that doesn’t harm her any more than she has harmed herself?
Sophia

Sophia,
You are in a danger zone. People see she is changing you for the worse, and acting as a middleman between her and them may put them in harm’s way as well. You are not a social worker; even trained professionals would have a hard time helping her.

Chasing after her shows you think highly of her; cutting her off tells her you don’t accept her behaviour. End this friendship in as quiet, and as natural, and as quick a way as possible.
Wayne & Tamara