Q: SOME of my friends have joined Abstinence Clubs, and since doing so, I regularly hear them talking about the need to be ASSERTIVE in relationships with the opposite sex, and how it has helped strengthen their character, while commanding respect from their partners. Could you explain what this is all about?

A: Being assertive is being able to tell someone how you feel, what you want, or need, in a way that doesn’t threaten, punish or put them down; in short, being able to express oneself without anxiety or fear.

Being assertive is a skill, meaning that it is something that we learn; not something that we are born with. Being assertive entails direct and honest communication between people, rather than hoping the other person will figure out what’s on your mind. The other person may not agree, accept or want the same thing you do. But you can feel satisfied, knowing that you expressed yourself while considering the other person’s feelings.

For example, if you are a young unmarried person and your boyfriend or girlfriend proposes to you that you should engage in sexual intercourse, you need to be assertive. Let him or her know in no uncertain terms that it is not the right thing for either of you, stating some of the consequences, and letting him/her know that you will not compromise your standards. Do not be afraid of being frank with them for fear of how they will react. Let them know that they should either respect your decision, or back off.

Q: What does being non-assertive mean?

A: Being non-assertive means that you fail to express yourself in a situation. You may not tell the other person how you feel, or what you want or need. For example, agreeing to have sex or using drugs when you prefer not to. When you are non-assertive, you often have poor eye contact, hesitant speech, low voice level or nervous body movements.

For example, Joe (19), and Kim (16) are out on a date. Joe pops the question about having sex with Kim, trying to convince her that it’s his way of proving his love to her. She is indecisive, blushes, avoids looking him in the face then says: “Joe, you know I really do not want to, but if it’s your way of proving your love to me, then I guess we could give it a try.”

Next week, we’ll bring you more on Assertiveness Skills, compliments of SISTA Project and the Programme on Abstinence for Guyana.

PLWHA SHOULD AVOID EATING RED MEATS
Dear Shirla,
I’ve heard that it is not good for PLWHA to eat red meats. But if persons living with HIV/AIDS need to increase their protein intake, then shouldn’t it be okay for them to increase their intake of red meats as well?

A: It is not okay for PLWHA — especially those classified as having late-stage HIV or advanced disease progression, to eat red meats. Although red meats have many nutrients which are important for the body, there are various reasons why some PLWHA may be advised not to eat it.

Red meats have high fat levels, and eating it may increase the level of fat in the blood. Particularly for PLWHA who are hypertensive, or suffer from high blood pressure, avoid red meats, because this increases the risk of heart disease, liver complications and high blood pressure. It may also be of particular concern if one is on antiretroviral drugs. If a PLWHA has high blood fat levels, he/she should trim fatty red meats if it is their only source of animal protein.

As far as possible, PLWHA should try to limit their intake of red meats. It is recommended that red meat be replaced with white meat. Fish is a very good source of animal protein for PLWHA, and so is chicken.

However, when cooking chicken, ensure it is washed properly, and at all costs, avoid making the mess or what we call ‘dung’ getting onto the meat to be eaten when removing the entrails. This is because of the presence of salmonella, which is harmful to the human body.

Salmonella is a bacterium that causes infections leading to abdominal pain, nausea and diarrhoea.

Additionally, PLWHA are advised to avoid eating under-cooked chicken and/or eggs, in order to minimize the possibility of salmonella contamination. And remember, a meal for PLWHA should not include poached eggs, but hard-boiled eggs, cooked for ten minutes or longer after the water reaches boiling point.

Hope this answers your question. Meanwhile, keep reading, and if you have questions or wish to share experiences with us, send your letters to waronhiv@yahoo.com or mail them to:

HIV/AIDS Mailbox
Guyana Chronicle
Lama Avenue
Bel Air Park