HOME IS a child’s first school, and the parent is the first teacher. The home must be a repository of accurate information to help a child stay within safe parameters. Therefore, parenting is deeper than exercising authority. A parent is related to a child, hence there should be an ever improving parent-child relationship. Communication is the lifeblood of this union. What is said during these tender years can have the most telling impact. Sex is real. And so is HIV. Therefore, children need to be engaged at an early age.

Studies show that kids who feel they can talk with their parents about sex — because their moms and dads speak openly and listen carefully to them — are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviour as teens than kids who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject. So, explore your feelings about sex. If you are uncomfortable with the subject, read some books and discuss your feelings with a trusted friend, relative, physician, or clergy member. The more you examine the subject, the more confident you’ll feel about discussing it.

Even if you can’t quite overcome your discomfort, don’t worry about admitting it to your kids. It’s okay to say something like: “You know, I’m uncomfortable talking about sex because my parents never talked with me about it. But I want us to be able to talk about anything — including sex — so please come to me if you have any questions. And if I don’t know the answer, I’ll find out.”

One aspect that many parents overlook when discussing sex with their child or children is dating. As opposed to the movies, where two people meet and later end up in bed together, in real life, there is time to get to know each other: Time to hold hands, go bowling, see a movie, or just talk. Children need to know that this is an important part of a caring relationship.

Praising our children frequently, setting realistic goals, and keeping up with their interests are effective ways of building self-esteem. And that’s important! Because, when kids feel good about themselves, they are much more likely to withstand being pressured by their peers to have sex before they are ready, or to do drugs. In short, they are less likely to engage in behaviour that could put them at risk for HIV.

Another area of concern is the disclosing of one’s HIV status to one’s children, or caring for a child who is HIV-positive. These issues will be addressed in subsequent articles.