– Says Rev. Kwame Gilbert
‘I wish to insist that the compromise of one’s safety and dignity for the security and pleasure of a body in bed is a foolish and dangerous trade-off…our task is to provide alternative forms of conflict resolution; introduce into the psyche of our people a culture of non-violence’ – Reverend Kwame Gilbert
REVEREND Kwame Gilbert has strongly advocated that domestic violence must not be treated in isolation, as a woman’s issue, since it is a threat to civil liberties and the social well-being of all.

“Once one person amongst us is a victim of an unjust act of abuse or violence, we all become responsible for the administering of justice and the mitigation of every form of abuse,” he emphasised.

Addressing a one day discussion for men, themed “Changing the Culture of Abuse, and domestic Violence,” at the Guyana International Conference Centre (GICC) on Monday, Gilbert posited that the problem cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness at which it was created.

Rather, he said it requires thinking and action outside the box.

“What is required is a whole-hearted commitment to the giving of our time, our resources, both financial and institutional, to fixing this problem. Everyone must become involved. Everyone must speak out. Everyone must extend a hand to change the culture of abuse and domestic violence,” he said.

The Reverend also noted that in addressing the issue of violence, whether it is against women and children, or men, or against society, the causative factor has to be examined in relation to other social matrixes.

He said while domestic violence is extremely unfortunate, it must not only be frowned upon, but repudiated with efforts being made to address the obvious indicator of institutional ignorance.

Gilbert disclosed, too, that the key element in abusive relationships is the pattern of one partner’s power over another.

“To maintain control, the more powerful partner must suppress the other’s attempt to act or think independently. In abusive relationships, several strategies are used to maintain power and control, including verbal insults, intimidation, threats, economic control and isolation,” he explained.

On this score, he said the fight should not only be to stop the violence, but to arrest and change the culture of abuse, which sometimes is looked at as a private matter between a man and his woman.

“I wish to insist that the compromise of one’s safety and dignity for the security and pleasure of a body in bed is a foolish and dangerous trade-off…our task is to provide alternative forms of conflict resolution; introduce into the psyche of our people a culture of non-violence,” Gilbert, who is also a People’s Progressive Party (PPP) Parliamentarian, put forward.

He said the aim is not to encourage men to abandon their masculinity, as they must remain strong, dependable and reliable.

“We seek to enable our men to use their strength not to hurt but to nurture, to build up, to protect; to use their strength to love. We seek to recreate a culture of non-violent communication in which men and women engage in alternative forms of conflict resolution,” Gilbert posited.

“We seek to recreate a culture in which men are empowered to lead, even under extreme provocation and personal injury,” he further outlined.

He maintained that men cannot succeed in their endeavour unless women provide the support needed in the context of the family; and in these situations, there must be freedom from potential harm and violence.

“To change a culture we must change our actions, and to change our actions we must change our thoughts. To change our thoughts, we must change our exposure. We can change this culture one man at a time, one family at a time, one community at a time,” Gilbert charged.

Men Empowerment Network (MEN) representative – Dr. Marlon Hestick, in his discourse, pointed out that unemployment, alcohol and drug addiction are among several challenges facing men which often influence them to behave violently.

Domestic violence in some instances, he said, is learned. He noted too that it is institutionalised in patriarchal ideologies which promote aggressive behaviour not only against women and children, but against their fellowmen to establish dominance.

He said these notions form the basis for men being violent against women, as it serves as a means to cement dominion of the former over the latter.

Under these flawed ideas, he pointed out, boys and men are taught to be emotionless; and as such, they are ignorant of the pain they cause by their violent escapades which are sometimes to their own detriment.

Human Services and Social Security Minister, Ms. Priya Manickchand (whose thought-provoking address at the forum was reported on in yesterday’s edition of the Chronicle), made it clear that until women attain true equality, Guyana will never see development at its zenith.

She noted that the discussion, the first of its kind to bring men together to address the scourge of domestic violence, is a historic occasion as it shows that men are concerned about the problem.

Minister Manickchand told the gathering of men drawn from diverse segment of society that domestic violence cannot be viewed in isolation and pointed out that gender inequality is the root cause of the problem.

The minister also acknowledged that women world-over have made significant strides in their quest for equality, and today this is evident more than ever before with Guyana being no different in this regard.

However, she said more has to be done because women from some quarters have complained that they have to work twice as hard to be recognised on par with their male counterparts.

According to Manickchand, the mechanisms to confine the capabilities of women are still being promoted by unenlightened minds, and their scheme, which is “alive and kicking”, must be halted before the matter assumes broader dimensions.

“Together we must join hands, men and women, government and non-governmental organisations (NGOs), the church and other civil society organisations, to do practical things to ensure we change the culture of abuse and domestic violence,” she appealed.

Prime Minister Samuel Hinds, in his address, advocated a wide-ranging approach to address the problem which he contended is caused mainly by frustration.

The Prime Minister also passionately denounced domestic violence and appealed to men from all quarters of society to stop the “tough love” and embrace compassion.

He pointed out that while there is legislation in place to address the problem, men should internalise the concept that “love rules” and differences can be resolved without conflict.