I am a single mom of a single child.

I recently met a man and went on three fun, chatty, lovely dates. Each
date ended with lengthy passionate kissing in the car! Between dates he
texted me for a bit of fun quick banter.

I didn’t press for more, but I did say I was looking for a long-term
relationship. After the third and final date, he messaged me saying he
thinks I’m lovely, charming, gorgeous and fun, and we have amazing
chemistry. Even magic.

But he doesn’t have the right feeling for me. So it’s over! That feeling
was the reason another guy broke up with me years before, so I’m left
feeling naively in the dark at 42.

Holly

Holly, when we are looking for a person to be with, we feel like
Tantalus, a figure from Greek mythology.

Tantalus was punished by being made to stand in a pool of water
underneath a low hanging fruit tree. The water was up to his chin, yet
when he went to take a drink, the water receded. When he tried to pluck
the fruit, the branches rose beyond his grasp.

It doesn’t matter that two men left you and didn’t give a more tangible
reason. You don’t get to feel bad because someone does not love you, as
if you lack something. That’s not it.

We are all looking for the one that fits. The puzzle pieces fit together
or they don’t. No one has to feel bad about it. All you need to
understand is, in the nicest way possible, he said “I don’t feel we are
meant for each other,” just as you would have the right to say the same
to him.

He said you don’t have it for me, not you don’t have it for someone else.

Wayne & Tamara