Dream Girl

I found a goal list my boyfriend made when we were split up for a few
months last summer. These were to be fulfilled by August 2015.

At first it seemed cute, until I got to this goal. Fall in love with the
girl of my dreams. Which I still thought was cute, until I saw the name
beside it, which was not me. It happens to be a girl I was once friends
with.

I panicked, then got angry. Then felt maybe I was overreacting. Then
cried and felt I wasn’t good enough.

Because I never said anything to him, every time he pulls away or comes
home a little late, I think he wants her, not me. I don’t know if he
does, but I wonder if I’m only temporary. I don’t know. I love him, but
I’m scared.

Now I’m trying to avoid a pregnancy test because I’m terrified it will be
positive, and he’ll wish it was her carrying his baby.

Ingrid

Ingrid, you need to confront him because you need access to more
information. You need an internal resolution about his love for you.

But before you confront him, decide if you want his honest answer, or if
you want the answer you want to hear. The answer you want to hear may
make you temporarily happy, but every good or bad event in the future
will be coloured by what the truth is.

In addition, before you confront him, find out if you are pregnant
because pregnancy should be no part of the discussion. “I might be
pregnant” will colour his answer, but it does not solidify his link to
you. At most it solidifies his link to your baby.

When you trap a man into marriage, when times get tough and all you have
to lean on is his love for you, you won’t have even that.

If you still aren’t sure of his love, pretend you are deaf. Take all the
words away. Observe. A man in love shows love through his actions.

Wayne & Tamara