A FRIEND once asked me what is the general opinion dentists express of patients when they (the dentists) meet to socialise. Well, to a large extent, dental phobics (people who fear dental treatment) may dominate the conversation.

If we are to believe women’s magazines and barroom chats, the world is almost solidly composed of people who are dental phobics and who hate dentists, or more specifically, being a patient in a dental chair. But patently it is not true. So where does all this phobia stuff begin?

There is no doubt when you are in the presence of a dental phobic. They enter the surgery with much the same technique as a well- trained combat soldier while scrutinising a room potentially full of snipers, or a presidential bodyguard reconnoitring for assassins. With their backs to the wall, they shuffle in, eyes rebounding off anything that moves.

“You’re not going to hurt me, are you?” they say quivering. You are tempted to answer something like, “ not from this distance no”, but you refrain. “What’s that then?” they say, feverishly pointing to something you are holding, partly but inadvertently behind you, in your hand. “That,” you reply sympathetically, “is what we call a dentist’s card. Well, it breaks the ice at least.

Then you stand and smile as broadly as possible without seeming leery and invite them to take a seat. The chances are that your surgery is not particularly spacious. It is taken up mostly with the infamous dental chair, desk with computer apart from a host of “scary” looking equipment, reminiscent of a modern torture chamber (or so many patients think). So, what is the question that the patients ask next? “Where do I sit?”

Anyway, then comes the moment when you must do something to them. The chat is over, and it is action time. They sense it immediately. “ What are you going to do to me now?” they quiz. You then explain that you first have check their mouths thoroughly and record your findings to make up a treatment plan. The treatment will then start with their major complaint. “So, Doc, can you put me to sleep for that?”

You know, it does sound like a marvellous solution, except that the patient is serious. Again, you patiently explain that all you want to do for now is to examine the mouth. “All I have in my hand is a mirror. Ok?” “Okay, but what’s in the other hand?” and then they apologise. Eventually, you get to have a peek in their mouth. This is accompanied by the mandatory amount of arm grabbing, asking you to stop for a moment while they spit or swallow, and the occasional cough thrown in for good measure.

When the examination is finally completed you explain the treatment plan and the cost. You get the impression that with the extent that the patient may be prepared to cooperate and allow you to work properly, the session could stretch to your retirement party.

Dentists value the quality of work they produce, and since the overall behaviour of the patient in the chair has a lot to do with the final product, and therefore the dentist’s reputation, dental phobics could present an occupational hazard. Usually, when we talk about dental phobics the assumption is that we are referring to the patient’s fear of the dentist, but how many times it is really the other way around?