IT is a fact that as you read these words, somewhere out there in our beautiful country, there are children who are being sexually abused. This is real and perhaps more common than we would care to acknowledge. It is indeed a horrible thought that an adult (surveys show mostly male) would entertain any sexual desire towards a child. Every adult knows that children are not physically or psychologically ready for sexual activity. Their minds and bodies are developing and the impact of being sexually abused can warp a child’s entire development process, which in turn will affect the child for the rest of his/her life.

When sexual predators prey on children they do not think about the damage they are causing. Neither are they aware of the trauma, anxiety and flashbacks that the child will endure due to such an overwhelming and sordid ordeal. Their only interest is their twisted sense of gratification. There is no decency, caring, love or conscience involved in their actions.

Giving due care and attention to children should be the first port of call for all parents. Parents, where do you leave your child? Where do you send your child? What type of neighbours do you have? How often do you leave your child home alone? Have you ever done a background check or asked questions about the other adults in your child’s life? (E.g. football coaches, scoutmasters, dance teachers, caregivers etc.) What do you know about their integrity? Do not forsake your child by putting ultimate trust into everyone who is in contact with your child.

Ask questions, be inquisitive, and pay attention to your child when he/she talks to you about his/her day. To be vigilant you must also have a good rapport with your child. Teach your child to tell you about any untoward behaviours or incidents that may have made him worried or concerned. Child sexual abusers come in all shapes, forms and sizes. Although Guyana’s ‘Sexual Offenders Register’ is in the pipeline, it is not yet functional; therefore, it is more than likely that you or your child may come into contact with a child-sex offender and not even know.

It is a fact that most children are sexually abused by people they know and trust, so never overlook family members or even teenage children. Perpetrators use a range of tricks and deceptions to get into a child’s mind. One method is initially coming across as being concerned and kind and offering gifts and candy. They can eventually become controlling and intimidating. Children are not intellectually mature enough to understand when they are being lured into a trap.

Childhood traumas can stay with survivors and affect them in different ways during their adult lives. The trauma continues to shape their decision-making and coping skills and affects the things they say, do and the way they act. Adults may not realise when their child is experiencing trauma unless there is an outward sign, such as bed-wetting, or the child becomes withdrawn or stops eating. Sometimes the child becomes moody or changes behaviour and acts out in some way.
Apart from sexual, physical, emotional abuse and neglect, childhood trauma can stem from any unforeseen event. The break-up of a nuclear family or the death of a family member or friend can be devastating. Children absorb the emotions and mental anguish that take place at such trying times. Even when parents decide to emigrate it can have a profound effect on a child who is uprooted from the security and stability of his life-long family and friends — especially when he is then made to embrace a new environment and culture.

If everyday childhood, traumas have the power to shape the thoughts and behaviour of the potential adult, what then of a child who has endured sexual abuse? Sexual abuse can make a child feel tainted and damaged for life. Although outwardly they seem to be thriving, within they harbour feelings of worthlessness. Some children blame themselves for the abuse and are more likely to become victims of physical, emotional or sexual abuse later on in life. Others grow with a self-inflicted stigma that never goes away. They dislike themselves and find it difficult to form or commit to a lasting relationship.

Adults and parents can help to prevent child sexual abuse by not leaving anything to chance; if you have children, do all you can to keep them safe. Make sure the people around them are trustworthy, honest and genuine. Take note of anything that seems untoward or gives you cause for the slightest concern. It pays to remember that every smiling face is not a friend. Talk to your children and let them talk to you about where they have been and what they have done. Regardless of their social standing, background, religion or race, children deserve to be protected from all types of abuse.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION