Too many times over the last few weeks, from myself included, I’ve heard many women say very negative things about their bodies. Even without the help of others, women tend to put themselves down and judge the quality of their life and their general worthiness on their weight, shape or size.

Now, this is not only pertaining to women as many men also suffer with their appearance and the acceptance and self-love that should come along with it.

So today, we are going to talk about not only how to love our bodies but how to respect them.

Unfortunately, many of us know the feeling of being self-conscious and even uncomfortable in our own skin. Many of us want the build or shape that we don’t have and some of us go to extreme lengths to get there. There are many unhealthy habits such as undereating and overexercising which are forms of self-harm. These have very little short term benefits and dangerous long-term effects.

Since you’ve probably tried everything else, why not try loving yourself now instead?
The first and most important thing to do is listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are not; Exercise when you have energy and rest when you do not.

Think about what you love about your body, not what you would change about it. Yes, this may seem strange to many but it’s possible. Think about what your body enables you to do, not what it deters you from doing. A body that does so much and gives so much love should only be loved in return. Love your ‘flabby’ arms that allow you to hug your loved ones and the ‘thick’ legs that allow you to run towards them when you or they need comfort and guidance. Instead of hating your nose, love the ability to smell the food on your table. Instead of hating your eyes, love everything they enable you to see.

Eat foods which make you feel good, healthy and whole, not to lose weight. Yes, sometimes this will include junk food as nothing should be off limits all the time. The more you restrict yourself, the more you will crave it. Create and maintain a healthy relationship with food instead. Exercise to feel good, not to lose weight. This means a few things. Accept the immediate benefits of working out- the instant and even short term feel-good moments rather than focus on the slow, long- term progression. It also means to exercise doing things that you love. Don’t worry what the ‘best workout’ for anything is; if you like to dance, dance. If you like to swim then swim. If you do something that you enjoy, you’re much more likely to continue doing it in the future. Viewing eating healthily and exercising in this manner will deter you from thinking that they are inconvenient chores.

Do not judge your weight by a scale. I don’t even own a scale and it makes me feel better every day. Let how you feel guide you instead.

Wear clothes that make you feel good and healthy, yes even clothes have an impact. You need to feel good in what you’re wearing to feel good overall. Also, I’d suggest you throw out all old clothes that you are unrealistically trying to re-fit into. I see so many women doing this- keeping clothes for over 10 years in the hope to fit back into them. Hanging on to these clothes is hanging on to very difficult, unaccepting and unrealistic expectations of yourself.

Do things that you’ve been putting off until you lose the weight. We all have that list and it makes no sense. Take all that time and energy that it takes to judge and hate your body and do something on that list.

Remove anything from your daily life that doesn’t make you feel good. For many people, this could be social media or magazines where we see the unrealistic, edited reel of someone’s good days. “Dare not to compare” is a common but very important saying. If you compare yourself to anyone, you can create hundreds of reasons to dislike yourself.
Respect other bodies as well. If you want to love and accept your body, you need to stop judging and criticising other bodies. ‘Fat-shaming’ or any other kind is just reinforcing to yourself that people may be judging your body. It’s a cruel cycle that you are creating for yourself.

Remember that a perfect body doesn’t make you loved and it definitely doesn’t create self-love. You taking up less space doesn’t create extra room for love and acceptance for yourself or anyone else. The skinniest, most ‘perfect’ version of yourself isn’t necessarily the healthiest or happiest.

Finally, find and maintain a healthy support system. This means to keep only those who make you feel good around you. Choose people who make you feel comfortable, confident and positive. Ask yourself why people like you or why you like people? Does their weight, size or shape even come to mind? Feel free to communicate what you need on your journey. This means letting those around you know what’s important so you fully have their support. This could be anything from ceasing to comment on your weight to all try eating healthier as a family. Most importantly, treat yourself as you would treat these loved ones of yours. You wouldn’t judge or body shame them. If they fell off track, you wouldn’t berate them but rather positively motivate them to get back on track. So why not do the same for yourself?

If there are things that you want to improve or enhance, that’s okay. Loving your body does not mean it has to stay the same but don’t forget that you can love and respect your body while working on it. We want to be healthy, sure and more power to you but please don’t do it in an unhealthy way. Remember that you are your body’s biggest supporter, not its enemy.

Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com

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