(Names have been changed to protect identities)
TEENAGE love is certainly unlike any other. For the young men and women who are on the verge of adulthood, it is a brand new experience that heightens every aspect of their everyday existence. It is not surprising then that so many of them decide to fall into relationships and they end up having children. This is usually done without proper knowledge of the requirements of motherhood or fatherhood; and even more importantly without the youngsters having knowledge of their true selves or which direction they would like to take in life. It can be an unreliable, unstable foundation that some young people choose to begin their parenthood journey. Salome is in her mid-40s and lives in Alexander Village; this is her story.

A group of us, boys and girls, grew up in the same village and knew each other through primary and secondary schools. I knew Lance from seeing him around and to be honest, I thought he was handsome and was a year or two older than me. At home, there was always some form of drama and my mother seemed unconcerned when I moved out, aged 17 and went to live with my older sister. I was studying accountancy part time, because I was good with numbers but had no real idea of what type of career I wanted in the future; and then Lance happened. We met casually in the street one day and started talking: our relationship progressed from there and we fell in love. His mother encouraged me to visit and even allowed me to stay over on occasions, so it wasn’t long before a pattern emerged and I felt appreciated and loved in my new-found home.

Soon Lance and I were so sure of our love that we decided that we wanted a baby. I was 18 years old now and technically an adult, old enough to make my own choices. I had a man who loved me and a home where I was happy. So we went ahead and started trying for a child. Looking back on my story, if there had been an intervention in my life while I was with Lance and just before we had made that decision; or if someone had offered me some words of wisdom I would not have started a family.

When I imagine the words that I would have needed at that time to change my intended course of action, they would have been words like these…at your age, you can achieve anything you set your heart to, what is it that you’ll like to have for your future, work towards that now? Have you ever thought of studying and achieving a degree? It is possible, you have the potential. You can embark on a career whereby you could travel the world helping people; you like helping people and children, let’s talk about you. Do you realise you have so much time and many opportunities ahead of you? Why make such a life-changing commitment now? If I had heard those words I might have listened and they might have changed my decision; or they might have had no bearing on me at all, because I was already under the spell of first love which is extremely strong. But I was never given the option; I had no list of probabilities and the only future I thought mattered at that time was the one I had conjured up with Lance.

That was back then and now, 30 years later, I realise we tried to build our future on our teenage romance. That romance was all we had, no role models, no guidance, no prospects, no security and definitely no forward vision for ourselves or the two children we brought into the world. Eventually we separated and are happy with our current partners. The message from my story is for everyone, because I believe that if you are a grown-up you should help young people to have ambition. You should be the listening ear that helps them to make sensible decisions; don’t turn your back on them, guide them and give them a chance in life. For the young people I would say, give yourself more time and space to mature into adulthood; don’t fall into the trap of taking on responsibilities that you are not ready to handle. It is a tough world out there, so take all the time you can to prepare yourselves well.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child call the Childcare and Protection Agency’s hotline number 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com

A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY, MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION