The importance of a loving support system when fighting cancer

By Gibron Rahim

CANCER profoundly impacts the lives of those diagnosed. But the disease does not only affect the life of the patient. The families and friends of patients are also affected by seeing their loved one suffering and oftentimes feeling powerless to help. Yet, these same ones do not give in to despair. Rather, they act as sources of strength and support as their loved ones battle cancer.

Christine Jardim was initially given no reason to fear regarding breast cancer. It was in 2013 that she found a lump on her breast. She immediately proceeded to the doctor who sent Christine to get the lump tested. The results ruled the growth as benign. Then, two years later, Christine was performing a breast self-examination when she found another lump. “I spoke to a friend and she advised me to go to Trinidad,” she recalled. “I went there and they did a lumpectomy.” The lump was then taken for testing, the results of which Christine had to wait for.

Christine finally received word. The results of testing were conclusive – the lump was cancerous. “Could you imagine receiving news like that?” she asked. She described being frozen and unable to think. She told the Pepperpot Magazine that she could not believe it was happening to her. “Most times when we hear ‘cancer’ we think of it as a death sentence,” she explained. She related that she was fortunate to have her daughter Jessica with her the day she received her diagnosis. “She said, ‘We will go through this, we’ll go through it together. We have to be positive’,” Christine recalled.
Christine returned to Trinidad where she underwent a mastectomy on her right breast as

well as radiation therapy and chemotherapy. “I did eight sessions of chemo and 14 radiation [therapy sessions],” said Christine. “Those were hard times,” she related. “You get different feelings.” She began to lose her hair by her second session of chemotherapy which she said was another shock to her. Christine prayed a lot during the year she underwent treatment. Importantly as well, “My husband, my kids and my friends they were there for me, they supported me during that time,” she said. “And I think that is what you need.” She attributes the love they shared with her during that time as the source of strength that allowed her to endure.

That kind of support is important, according to Christine. She emphasised, “The main thing is you have to support each other, you have to be there for that person,” as they endure the many changes the body undergoes during treatment. “I thank God that I’m here today and I can share my story with others and encourage others to get themselves checked,” Christine affirmed. Christine’s cancer was at Stage Two when she was diagnosed. She encourages a yearly checkup to allow early detection.

Christine has a family history of cancer. She related that it is present on her maternal grandmother’s side of the family. However, it skipped her mother and she is the only one among her sisters to have developed breast cancer. Despite her family history, Christine was still blindsided by her diagnosis. “No, never, I never thought of it,” she said, of her consideration of the possibility of cancer given that her relatives had developed the disease.

Her husband would sometimes travel with her for her treatments in Trinidad but it was most often Christine’s daughter, Jessica, who accompanied her. Though she recalled that she would often not feel like eating afterwards, Jessica ensured that her mother ate. “My husband was very supportive,” Christine noted as well. “He said, ‘It doesn’t matter what, I am there for you’,” she recalled. He told her it did not matter what happened, the most important thing was that she had life. Even though there were times during treatment when she was moody, her husband understood. “I give him a lot of credit for that,” Christine said. “He was supportive, he was there 100 per cent,” as was her son.

Christine currently has checkups every six months. She related that she still feels fear that the cancer will return. “You try to be positive but in your mind, somewhere there, you know there’s a possibility that [the cancer] could come back,” she explained. The wait for the results of her checkups is always an anxious time. “But when you get through that, you say ‘thank God’ again.”

Jessica’s first reaction to the news her mother had cancer was shock. “You feel like you’re having this sort of out of body experience,” she explained. After accepting the situation her next reaction was to be strong for her mother. She recalled saying to herself, “If I trip out and start to cry and all these things then she won’t have anybody that she could lean on.” It was difficult, she said, but she came to realise that it was not the end of the world. The type of positive person her mother is made the situation easier to cope with.

The loved ones of cancer patients undeniably need the support of their own as well. For Jessica that was her now-husband. At the time she had recently gotten engaged. “I had nobody else to turn to except for him,” she said. She clarified, “I have friends and so on but he was the closest to me.” She went home to him and cried for hours when she found out her mother’s diagnosis. “He was there for me through everything,” Jessica affirmed.

She would fearfully wonder if he would leave her, given how often she would be out of the country with her mother during her treatment. “No, he was there every step of the way,” she said, not just for her but for her brother, father and mother as well. “We’re a very close family and going through this experience just made us closer.”

Christine’s words of advice for those going through the same struggle with cancer she went through is to be positive. “Get your treatment and you will be okay,” she said. “Have your friends and your loved ones around you.” Positivity, she said, is very important. She encouraged that they share their stories “When we share that’s when we learn so much more and there’s somebody out there to help us.”