The most important support that parents can give a child is love

Dear Editor,
FAMILY and community play an important role in molding children which will directly impact any society as a whole, therefore it’s important that families be supported to prevent child abuse and keep children safe within their own homes and communities.

The alternative is institutionalisation (placing children in orphanage care). Children all across the world depend on their families for love and support. Therefore, families have a vital and most important role in the development of children. The family should provide for the child’s holistic growth through nurturing and teaching, especially during their early years.

In Guyana, child abuse is the leading cause of children being placed into institutional or orphanage care. In 2016, ChildLinK released a report captioned: An Analysis of the Nature and Extent of Institutionalization of Children in Guyana. The report indicated in 2016 there were 749 children in institutional/orphanage care. Although institutional/orphanage care provides alternative accommodation for children who are in need of protection and care, it is not the ideal place for a child’s holistic development. The family remains the ideal care environment for the long term well-being of children.

According to the Journal of Human Development and Capabilities: Early Childhood Development in the Context of the Family, published/ written by Wodon, Quentin, and published in 2016; early childhood is the most rapid period of development in a human’s life. The years from conception through birth to eight years of age are critical to the complete healthy cognitive, emotional and physical growth of children and the family plays a major role in their development. ChildLinK’s 2016 study found that many of the children separated from their families often long to return to their biological family, even though they know that’s where they were abused. The separation from the biological family and familiar surroundings is an emotionally, painful experience and in many cases, a traumatic experience for particularly young children.

The family gives the child a sense of belonging and protection and is most influential in helping the child to understand their culture and history and a sense of social, historical and cultural identity which is very important to the development of self. Even as adults, we take pride in the fact that we came from a long line of teachers, doctors, nurses, etc. It is equally or even more important for children to know their “roots” and history. The family history in some cases inspires children to surpass the achievements of their ancestors.

Family is possibly the single most important influence in a child’s life. Parents should aim to set a good example of how to handle difficult emotions such as anger, loss, conflict and other difficulties children are likely to experience in growing up. The family should instill values and set boundaries. They are a child’s first teachers and role models in how to behave and how to experience the world around them. Adult family members can teach children about what is right from wrong; how to handle conflict; how to relate lovingly and respectfully to others their age or persons in authority; how to form lifelong relationships; how to function in a group and other critical life lessons. Family life is where the child spends most of his or her learning time. Although considerable learning takes place at school and in the community, essential, foundational and character-building principles are first taught at home. It is where the closest relationships are formed and nurtured.

The most important support that parents can give a child is love and affection. Institutional care may not be capable of providing children with the necessary love and affection that is required for their emotional and psychological development, since children need quality time and affection which is more meaningful to the child when it comes from their biological parents. One child, who at the time of the research, was in the institution for four years, stated with tears that he would often question the way his mother feels about him and how he misses his father and siblings to the point where he considered “running away” from the orphanage to be with his family.

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) articles 9, 18 and 20, states that every child has the right to live with his or her parents or to stay in touch with them, unless this would harm the child’s development. It also states that every child has the right to grow up in a supportive, protective, and caring environment that promotes his or her full potential. Article 18, in particular, points to government’s responsibility to provide support services to families. However, all other sectors in society, including the business sector, should recognise that they have a role in supporting children through their families. This may be done either through partnerships and or holding those accountable for safeguarding children.

Children thrive when parents are active participants in their growth and development. Every parent should understand that it is sometimes difficult to do this important work without help, support, and additional resources. As a society, we need to have more openness to accessing help, especially counselling and other forms of psycho-social support. ChildLinK, the Childcare and Protection Agency and other organisations offer parental skills education to help parents strengthen their parental capacity. However, it is unfortunate that some parents do not take advantage of this opportunity because they believe they are not in need of counselling. Parents, improving your parenting skills lead to stronger support to your overall family life to create a better environment for children to grow up and is one of the best options for improving your child’s chances of achieving their full potentials. ChildLinK’s project officer for the RSR project, Ashome Clarke, believes that “every child needs a loving family, a champion that will stand up for their protection”.

Regards
Shaquita Thomas
Communications Officer
ChildLinK Inc

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