If you are a father, read on…

SO yesterday was Father’s Day and in Guyana many children and families did their best to show how much they care for the special ‘Father’ in their lives. If you are a father, were you bothered about what gift you were given on Father’s Day? Or whether your family made a big enough fuss about you? Because the real over-arching question is, can any gift or tribute, truly reflect the worth of a good father?

THE WORTH OF A GOOD FATHER (do you make the grade)
A good father is a ‘Dad’ who is approachable, fair and a provider for his family. He understands the importance of his role in the family unit. He is able to communicate with his wife and his children on an open and consistent level. He knows how to control his temper and his negative emotions because he realises that if he loses control the entire fabric of the family unit can fall apart. Children need their fathers to be positive role models, whether they are girls or boys, they need to see and feel the strength and security of a man they can trust, look up to and confide in.

A good ‘Dad’ cannot be bought or sold, he is priceless because the stability and love that he shows his family is reflected in all that the family members achieve. He is their rock, their place of refuge when things get tough: he is humble and honest, upright and thoughtful. He can be fun, jovial and playful, but is a disciplinarian who realises there is a time and place for everything. Men who strive to be good ‘Dads’ are serious in their approach and do not waiver, they understand their responsibility towards the lives and well-being of the children that they have brought into the World.

For many men the role of ‘Father’ is just a parody of what they witnessed of their ‘Fathers’ as a child. For instance, some would have grown up in households where their fathers were strict and didn’t talk much but tended to ‘share plenty licks’. Therefore they believe that fathers should always be serious and over-powering. These types of ‘Fathers’ never get the opportunity to learn about, or make a true connection with, their child, or his/her inner thoughts and feelings: because the child is never given the space or opening to express his/her self fully (this can only be done in private).

Many fathers have nothing at all to do with their children, through one reason or another. These children are disadvantaged because even if they have a stepfather who is a wonderful ‘Dad’ they will always be curious about their biological father: And in some cases, they’d want to know why he did not ‘move mountains’ on a never-ending quest to play a role in their lives. As children get older they tend to analyse their childhood more and more. As young adults many of them recognise some of the positive or negative traits that may have affected their social/ emotional development: And their relationship with their father (or lack of) can be a key factor.

Fathers, who are ineffective but present throughout their children’s childhood, can be poor examples to their children and negatively affect, rather than enhance their development: especially if they drink alcohol excessively, or partake in recreational drugs. The savvy and know-how required to be a good ‘Dad’ is hampered by their dysfunctional lifestyles. Though children strive and grow whatever the circumstances surrounding their upbringing, a positive and genuine ‘Father figure’ is one that has a long-lasting positive effect on his children and therefore on generations to come. Such fathers’ should never be taken for granted or denied access to their children. So, now that you’ve read these examples, how do you measure up as a ‘Father’? If you fall short, you can start working to improve your ‘Dad’ strategies today. Remember there is always time and room for improvement.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child ring the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com

A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY, MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION

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