By Marissa Foster

GUYANA is still a developing country. It lies on the South American coast, along the tropics with a population of 746,955 (according to the 2012 census).

The act of killing oneself or better known as suicide has been a prevailing and worrisome topic among Guyanese. Out of the total given population, East Indians are more prone to commit such an act, whereas, on the gender perspective, males dominate the statistics.

Guyana currently ranks third on the list of the world’s top suicidal countries with a statistic of 29 suicides per 100,000 persons. This is a decline in numbers compared to the 2015 statistics, where Guyana was ranked number one with a figure of 44 suicides per 100,000 persons. The Government of Guyana and NGOs (Prevention of Teen Suicide, Youth Ambassadors Guyana and many others) have been working in many ways possible to help eradicate this scourge. Some of the work being done includes outreaches, workshops and prevention walks.

Moves are also afoot to decriminalise the act of suicide. While many attempts have failed, some have slowly, but certainly made a difference. It is visible though that the suicide rate is declining. A question I quite often hear is: ‘How can we as a society help to battle off this social issue?’ Our social interactions on a whole are a long chain that links us to individuals who we may not even know of. One person falls and the entire chain gets affected.

This is evident in Émile Durkheim’s theory of suicide. He was a French theorist, who believed that suicide is not only a personal subject but it is also influenced by social factors. I also take side with his propositions on this matter. Our society; social pillars (the school, church and family), our culture (beliefs and mindset held about this topic) and our environment play an integral role in eliminating this issue.

I’ve always heard many old Guyanese folks say: ‘Prevention is always better than a cure’. As such, it starts with oneself, for we are members of society and it is us, who make up the social chain of life. All in all, our roles in society should be used as ingredients toward making an antidote to help diminish this social ill that has been affecting our country for the past few years. The way we choose to acknowledge and act upon this topic is also of importance. I’m saddened at the fact that we may look at these statistics as just numbers and not even realise that they are the deaths of our very own. How many more numbers must be added before we realise that this phenomenon is detrimental to our growth as a nation?

I was born and raised in the County of Berbice. As cliché as it may sound, I know so many who have fallen by the hands of suicide. I attended the New Amsterdam Multilateral School and it was during my fourth year in high school where I was confronted with a hands-on experience of someone committing suicide. Marissa Singh attended my high school and although she was not an acquaintance of mine, her death surely left an impact on me. Mahendra Phagwah was one of Marissa’s best friend.

A FRIEND’S TEAR
Here is how he summed up her life, the events leading up to her death and how he managed to cope with the aftermath. “I met Marissa Singh in 2009, we attended the same mandir. Subsequently after, our friendship grew stronger as we would partake in mandir-related activities. After school, she would come over by my house, vice versa.

Being her friend was one in a million. She had asked to become my sister and on Raksha Bandhan, she indeed became a gem. We would go most places together, sing and I would support her in her dancing events. I firmly believe no one could ever take that place of her on a stage.

“Marissa displayed many signs of suicide but sadly, back then I was not fully trained or equipped to notice these signs. The first sign was her first attempt of suicide. Our bond grew much stronger after this. It was an eyeopener for me and I made it my oath to be there for her in every possible way. During her first attempt, she was attending the New Amsterdam Multilateral. Returning to school was very hard for her because she was now a target for many schoolmates.

“I vividly remember going to her home many times and I would beg her to go back to school but she would always break down in tears and tell me that a lot of people are laughing at her. They called her names such as ‘pills’, ‘pharmacy’, etc. I couldn’t stand to see her in such a state. I convinced her grandmother to have her transferred to my school (JCCSS), to have a fresh start at life. All was well at first, she even became a school’s prefect and had dreams of either becoming a teacher or nurse.

Marissa’s love for children was beyond words. Her laughter was one in a million, like no other. Unfortunately, Marissa’s laughter was just a mask for her pain. News of her first attempt of suicide started to spread around her new school and gossip began circulating that she did it for a boyfriend. Adding to that, the loss of her mother to a housefire and other issues contributed to her suicidal thoughts.

At this time, I was not as concerned as I should’ve been, about her attempting suicide again because I felt she had learned her lesson from the first attempt. Sadly, as I attended many trainings and psychology courses after her death, I learned that it was the opposite.

“Devastatingly, I lost Marissa to suicide on July 09, 2016. This is a day that I will always remember. Around midday hours, I received a text message from Marissa which implied that she may be trying to take her own life. I called her landline but she had pulled the cord out. I ran as fast as I could to her home (a street away). Upon arrival, she had locked her bedroom door and was crying hysterically. It all felt like a movie scene. After many attempts, I managed to get into her bedroom and I then rushed her to the hospital in her brother’s car.

“That journey to the hospital is one that I will never forget. I still remember the words she mentioned to me. I remembered my inside feeling weak and filled with regrets. Upon arrival at the hospital, Marissa was not given immediate attention until after about 15 minutes that the doctors tended to her care. She was taken to a bed and I saw doctors putting a tube in her mouth, pumping the pills out. I went outside along with her grandmother, a close friend and her sister, we all came to console each other while hoping for the best.

“I would go in to check-up on her from time-to-time. I saw a dark purple substance coming through the tube and I still can perfectly remember how she was struggling to breathe for air (this gives me nightmares sometimes). My heart was shattered to pieces as the doctor called me inside, asking if I was a family member and he told me of the sad news. My dear Marissa Singh passed away at 8:30hrs due to cardiac shock; it was my task to deliver the news to her grandmother and family; it took all the strength and gut I had to do so.

“Fast forwarding to almost two years now, life can never be the same again. Many days I still feel sad about her loss. When I finished writing CSEC, I thought of her and I cried. Whenever I go to places and I see people dance, I always think of her. It leaves an empty space that cannot be filled. It is the same for her loved ones as well, especially for her family members.”

THE PAIN
“I wish to say that suicide does not end the pain. It simply adds your pain to your loved ones, thereby adding an extra burden. It creates emptiness, sadness and thoughts of many regrets and doubts. ‘I should have done this, or maybe this, why didn’t I see this?’ Nevertheless, I chose to make better of the pain by educating myself more. Marissa was not perfect, she had many flaws and as a teenager, she got sidetracked. In the end, she was a vibrant angel that society managed to stain by gossiping, accusing and taunting her vulnerable soul. This is quite evident today in society still.”

Many signs of suicide are often times dismissed in our society and we take them for granted. Some of which include talks about wanting to die or to kill oneself, talks about being a burden to others and feelings of hopelessness, drastic change in sleeping patterns, drug/alcohol abuse, extreme mood swings, withdrawing from relationships and social activities. If you, by chance have suicidal thoughts or you witnessed someone display these signs, then the National Suicide Helpline numbers are: (592) 223-0001, 223-0009, 600-7896, 623-4444.