Are you a victim or survivor of childhood sexual abuse?

(The use of the word ‘victim’ in this article is purely for descriptive purposes and therefore should not be confused with a helpless person).

THERE are many adults going about their daily lives harbouring a secret about the physical or sexual abuse they endured as children. Some adults have locked away their pain and trauma, while others have become perpetrators of the same abusive behaviour that was meted out to them. There are also victims of childhood abuse who, with help, have learned to cope and manage their childhood dilemma. Nevertheless, the memories of childhood abuse linger on and can arise quite randomly or be triggered by something unexpectedly.

When a child has been abused, it shows. Social workers and child protection officers work with abused children every day, they know the signs and hear similar stories of abuse on a weekly basis. Their work is to ultimately protect the child, while working in the child’s best interest: to investigate the severity of the abuse and report to a senior officer who will initiate appropriate action.

Among the varied cases that they deal with there are children who are victims of domestic violence, children who have been neglected and left to fend for themselves and children who have been severely beaten. However, the type of case that reaches their desks on a regular basis are those of sexual abuse.

In these cases there are confused children (especially girl children). Some of them refuse to speak about the abuse, even though indicators and evidence clearly prove that the child is a victim of an adult (usually male) perpetrator. If the perpetrator is a family member or the child’s father, she may not want to betray him or bring shame on her family.

Sometimes victims even feel guilty because their bodies (naturally) responded and partook in the (sexual) abuse. Little do these child victims understand or realise that what happened to them will be with them through the coming decades as they grow and develop into adults.

Whatever warped sense of loyalty victims may feel towards their perpetrators, or whatever guilt complex they may hold as a child, will eventually diminish as they mature and one day they will either need to talk about their ordeal in order to start the ‘healing process’, or they may decide to bury it deeper inside. Although burying the trauma or memory of abuse is an option, to a skilled counsellor or social worker it is still apparent.

It will show in the way a past victim behaves or reacts in certain situations. It will show in things they say, views they hold and sometimes even in the way they raise their children. You may be surprised to learn that generations of abuse exist in some families.

Professionals advise that the best way to overcome the childhood trauma of sexual abuse is to confront it. Unlock the past and lay it out in front of you so you can examine it and see it for what it truly is. It is always better to get things out of your system rather than keep them bottled up inside (for years). Trained counsellors can help a victim put the past in perspective. They can help victims to understand what took place in their lives and how it has affected them.

Some victims waste years of energy, holding on to the hurt inside or hating themselves and putting themselves down over childhood sexual abuse. But they are survivors and as survivors if they learn to channel their negative energy, into positive energy, they can, not only empower their lives, but also serve to strengthen and educate their families. If you are an adult, you can speak to a counsellor at the Probation and Social Services Dept., Ministry of Social Protection. Children who are in need of help can contact the Childcare and Protection Agency on 227 4082
If you are concerned about the welfare of a child you can ring the CPA hotline 227 0979 or email childcaregy@gmail.com
A Message from the Childcare and Protection Agency, Ministry of Social Protection

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