Healthy Coping

AS we move further and further into the New Year, I would like to talk about how we can continue to better cope with the stress in our lives- as no one is immune to this. Avoiding stress is futile because not only negative situations cause stress; for example, being promoted or having a baby also results in stress. This means that the key to living a good life is not avoiding stress but rather how to healthily deal with it.
First, let’s talk about what stress is. I feel it’s a word that many people use every day but would have a hard time defining it.

Stress is any mental or physical strain. Unfortunately, it can come from any angle – family, work, school, relationships, and financial state – just to name a few.

The strategies we use to deal with our stress are called coping skills. It’s what we choose to do when we are stressed, angry, sad etc. and these are very individualistic. Guyana is flooded with unhealthy coping skills such as consuming alcohol, smoking cigarettes/ marijuana or abusive behaviour.

Well, what if I told you there were healthy and productive ways to deal with this large amount of stress? It is not difficult to change unhealthy coping skills to healthy ones – it’s just simply tedious. Studies show that it takes the average person 60 days to develop a new habit. So if you are used to calling someone for a drink when you’ve had a bad day, it would take 60 days of forced behaviour for it to become natural for you to call them for a workout instead. People usually give up before the 60 days.

Stress in itself severely impacts both our mental and physical health so we are only increasing our distress if we unhealthily deal with it- ultimately just adding additional issues in the long run. On the other hand, heathy coping allows us to overcome obstacles, accept and deal with setbacks, be adaptive to any changes around us and be generally happier. We cannot always control what other people say/do to upset us or what general situations arise. However, we do have complete control over its effects on us and how we deal with it.

Developing coping mechanisms is quite difficult as emotions that arise when we are upset are very powerful. They tend to cloud our judgement, decision making and even creative abilities- all very much needed to handle a stressful situation. While of course, it is better to start developing healthy coping strategies early, it is never too late to learn them.

There are two major types of coping strategies – whichever one is used depends on the individual. The first is a problem focused strategy where the individual focuses on the problem itself that may cause stress. For example, if a husband has to relocate (when he does not want to) as his wife received a promotion, he will focus on the problem itself- moving and how to cope with that. He will analyse the situation, what exactly he does not like about it and work on it. If he does not like that he has to leave his hobbies behind, he will try to find similar ones in his new location.

The second is an emotion-focused strategy where the individual focuses on their emotions that the problem/stress has elicited. For example, if the aforementioned husband is sad, angry and resentful for this relocation, he will focus on strategies that handle his feelings of distress. He won’t avoid or deny his feelings, he will choose to do relaxation/breathing exercises; he will do the things that make him happy; he will talk to his wife or a professional.

I have always been partial to the emotion-focused strategy as I am an emotional person. This means that at times, I let my emotions guide me and get the better of me. I am also a firm believer in the saying “Life is 90 percent what happens to us and 10 percent how we react to it.”

So, what are some examples of good coping skills?
These of course depend on the individual. What relaxes, calms or excites you may not work for many others. If you have never thought about things that may work for you, here is a list. Try one or try them all!

-Exercise-any form-dancing, team sports, punching bags, bicycles. This is not about weight loss but rather releasing positive endorphins.
– Keep a feelings journal. Writing is so therapeutic.
– Educate yourself- read about everything! For fun, even.
– Become artistic – draw, paint, colour, create or simply listen to music.
-Watch light-hearted movies/ T.V shows- we get enough drama from real life.
– Be social with the right people. Keep good and positive people around.
– Spend quality time with yourself. Really get to know and love who you are!
– Practice good self-care. This means taking the time to do things that make you feel good about yourself. This can be anything from reading to doing your nails/hair. When we are confident and feel good on the outside- we tend to also internalise these feelings.

– Try breathing techniques
– Try delegating – you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) do everything
– Create and stick to a budget every day. Monetary issues cause a lot of stress.
– Build confidence, gratitude, positivity /optimism.
– Set new and realistic goals for yourself.
– Volunteer! Gain a sense of purpose and satisfaction by helping others.
– Practice forgiveness. This is for you- not anyone else.
– Focus on your religious/spirituality practices (if you have any)
– Learn to walk away. When you are overly stressed or angry – take some personal space. Unfortunately for us, problems do not just disappear. They will be there for us to tackle when we are ready to do so.

– Find someone you can trust and confide in them. It is okay if you feel you cannot cope on your own. Seeking professional help also counts as healthy coping. This helps you to become stronger (not weaker) when dealing with future stressors and challenging situations.
For whichever one you decide to try, make a note of whether it worked for you or it did not. If it didn’t, that’s okay- just try something else. If it does work, remember that it takes much practice to make it a regular exercise- don’t give up!

Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com Or come in to see me at:
Georgetown Public Hospital: Psychiatric Department:
Monday- Friday – 08:00 hrs-12:00hrs
Suicide Prevention Helpline numbers: 223-0001, 223-0009, 623-4444, 600-7896

Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always

SHARE THIS ARTICLE :
Facebook
Twitter
WhatsApp
All our printed editions are available online
emblem3
Subscribe to the Guyana Chronicle.
Sign up to receive news and updates.
We respect your privacy.