You never stop learning

SO many grown-ups have stories of ‘near misses’ that they have had when they were children and I don’t mean that they avoided getting run over by a car. I’m referring to the near misses of child sexual abuse. It is not the kind of thing that comes up in conversation, but when the subject is addressed then the stories come out: the perverted family friend, the uncle who whispered inappropriate things or touched a child’s body inappropriately, the time the child had to run for his/her life because a perpetrator almost trapped him/her. And then there are the overtones that can lead to sexual abuse, such as encouraging children to watch pornographic movies or grown-ups making sexual innuendoes or remarks about a child’s developing body. Let’s face it– some adults are completely out of line and have no — or little — respect for children.

As parents you have to remember that perpetrators are among us and you cannot afford to be laid back where your children are concerned , you have to be aware and vigilant. Because you cannot be with your child 24/7. A good lesson to teach your child is what is appropriate and what is not. Basically, children should know certain (age-appropriate) measures of self- protection. Lesson number one: what every parent should have taught their child by now is about inappropriate touching. Children must know their private parts must not be touched by anyone, child or adult. As early as is possible, when capable, children must be taught that they alone should wash their private parts.
If your child is staying somewhere for the night, you should find out what the sleeping arrangements are going to be beforehand, even if he/she is staying with your own family (brother, sister, nephew, niece, cousin aunt, grandmother etc.). Never overestimate your child’s safety or the vigilance of the caregiver.
If you have even the slightest doubt about leaving your child with someone, then don’t do it. A good indication that something is not right is when a child does not want to stay at a particular house. It is always harder for children to talk out about (sexual or other) misconduct when it involves a member or members of their family. Issues of misplaced trust and potential repercussions will arise and help to prevent disclosure.
The thing is, with children, they really do not know something unless someone either takes the time to teach it to them or they learn it (unfortunately) from their peers or through the media: which is the worse way. So in every aspect of their lives, adults must take time to teach them pertinent things that will help them in life.
They really need to know simple things e.g.
* How close are friends allowed to get?
* How to demand your personal space when you need it
* What is a friendly hug and permissible banter between friends and when and where they should draw the line?
* How to discreetly excuse themselves from inappropriate conversations
* How to uphold their standards and not feel intimidated by others

Parents cannot anticipate a child’s every need, but they can instil qualities in their child that stem from sound morals and values. This will allow them to vouch for their child’s behaviour and have confidence enough to send their child anywhere and not worry about the likelihood of bad reports.
Today on 4 minutes for change we are asking parents to take a look at the ‘little’ things the ‘everyday’ things in their child’s life. Is there room for some reinforced advice? Or maybe even some relevant information that hadn’t occurred until now? Do your part — help them to learn and grow with confidence, wisdom and knowledge.
If you are concerned about a child you can ring the CPA hotline 227 0979 or email chilcaregy@gmail.co
A Message from the Childcare and Protection Agency, Ministry of Social Protection

 

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