4 minutes 4 change – Just those few words

SOME parents have no idea what ‘child protection’ means. They give children the minimum amount of care and attention and expect them to get on with their lives. There may be various reasons why parents lack the necessary skills to adequately care for their children. One of which could be, they are raising their children the way they were raised. It seems that some parents do not recognise the young fertile mind in every child that needs tender care and support. Without the right care and sensible lessons in life, what is a young mind supposed to do? Today on 4 minutes 4 change we share Shona’s true story.

During my childhood no one in my family taught me anything of purpose and there was no one at home that I could talk to or relate to. Children were teasing and harassing me at school; I was unhappy and hated going but at home I told no one. I had three big sisters a little brother and there was mum. I hardly got to see her because she was always at work. And even though she worked very hard she could just about make ‘ends meet’. That meant there was never any extras, and as a family we just skimped by. I had holes in my shoes, very few clothes, hardly any underwear and nothing special to look forward to.

I must admit that I never went hungry and that was a good thing, but on the other hand I can’t remember any structure to my childhood. At the time I didn’t realise it because I was too busy living it, but when I look back now all I could see is the fact that no one was there for me. No one to say, ‘Shona, you have a wonderful future; you’re good at maths; have you ever considered becoming an accountant?’ Or ‘Shona, if you work hard at school you can eventually get good grades and make something of yourself’.

I sometimes think that if someone, just one thoughtful person, had just taken the time to put their arms around me when I was growing up, and say ‘Shona, you are a special person, never forget that, never let anyone take advantage of you and never let a man hit you, you are worth more’. If someone had told me that, just those few words, it would have made such a big difference to the choices I made in life. I would have valued myself more and worked towards a goal. And I would have waited for the right partner and security, before I had children.

I am not unhappy about the adult I have become and I’m glad I had my children. But I know I would have done things differently if someone had the foresight to give me some good advice to use in times of need. I could have achieved so much more.

My advice to parents would be, talk to your children about everything in life: growing up, puberty, menstruation, sex, contraception, relationships, people, diversity, love, hate, religion, tolerance, ambition, education, goals, challenges, values, morals, confidence, just keep connected to them, tell them about you and the things you did as a child. Acknowledge the different stages of their lives and what they may go through. Teach them to value themselves and be themselves and don’t ever assume that your child ‘knows it all’ because even as adults, we never do.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child you can ring the CPA hotline 227 0979 or email: chilcaregy@gmail.com
A Message from the Childcare and Protection Agency, Ministry of Social Protection

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