IF YOU are a parent who has issues with the way you were brought up by ‘your parents’, you are in good company. So many parents can now see where ‘their parents’ lacked in providing the care, security, or the information they needed, while they were growing up. No doubt your parents would have done what they thought was best at the time with whatever resources and knowledge they had.

The great thing about evaluating childhood memories, good or bad, is that they allow us to either emulate ‘our parents’ and their ‘successful’ parenting skills or provide for our children in areas where we feel ‘we’ missed out. But are you a reasonable parent? Try our quiz:

1) Your child comes home complaining that the teacher picks on him. Do you:
a) Ask your child to explain the incidents so you can make an assessment of the situation?
b) Go to the school and ask to see the teacher?
c) Take no action, but hope things resolve on their own?

2 Your 10 year old’s latest best friend is brazen and loud; you are afraid your child may be influenced. Do you:
a) Tell your child to choose better friends or you will choose them for him/her?
b) Ignore the ‘best friend’ whenever he/she is in your presence?
c) Explain your fears and the possible consequences to your child and reach an understanding?

3 You over hear your 15-year-old daughter on the phone talking about handsome boys. Do you:
a) Confiscate her phone for a week?
b) Talk with her about guys, and also explain what her main focus should be?
c) Tell her she is too young to be thinking about boys and that she should not let it happen again?

4 Your 13 year old son is a bookworm, unlike his older brother, who loves sports. Do you:
a) Respect his privacy and space, but ensure he communicates and participates with the family regularly?
b) Tell him he’s missing out and force him to go out more?
c) Tell him to be more like his brother or he’ll end up a nerd?

5 Your teenager wants to go roller skating in the National Park with friends, but you are afraid she might get hurt. Do you:
a) Tell her that’s fine, once you can come along to chaperone the event?
b) Let her go with protective gear, a phone and a pep talk about staying safe?
c) Explain to her you’re worried and want to keep her safe at home?

6 Your 7 year old keeps asking, ‘How did I get inside Mummy’s tummy?’ and you keep changing the subject. Do you:
a) Ask your partner to explain the answer to him?
b) Tell him he will find out when he gets older, so he shouldn’t ask again?
c) Find age appropriate material to share with him on the subject?

ANSWERS
1) (a) Always give your child the opportunity to offload. Ask questions to get a better understanding of any situation clearly. Gear your child towards peaceful and fair resolutions to problems.

2) (c) Talking to your child about your concerns is always better than trying to dictate what they must do. Help your child arrive at sensible decisions with your guidance and not by you laying down the law.

3) (b) ‘The opposite sex’ is just one of a variety of topics that adolescents’ talk about, parents should not over react. However a friendly word of guidance to keep things in prospective will not go a miss.

4) (a) Parents should respect that children are different and not try to fit square pegs in round holes. During adolescence children will decide what works best for them with parental guidance and support.

5) (b) Gaining independence and overcoming challenges is a part of growing up. Parents should weigh the risk factors before giving permission without being too strict based on their own fears.

6) (c) Parents must not hide from children; it is their duty to impart age-appropriate information. If parents fail to answer a child’s questions, somebody else will.

Being fair, consistent, reliable and caring in your parental endeavours will bring out the best in your child.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child you can ring the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or email chilcaregy@gmail.co
A Message from the Childcare and Protection Agency, Ministry of Social Protection