QUOTE:“…uncle Freddie is agitated since the issues which attract his poisonous pen, are dwindling rapidly, like water in a drought, as a result of development.

In an effort to keep his column, Uncle Freddie has shifted his focus from issues to personalities and to psychic predictions. However, the Parrot, being eager to be enriched, can benefit from Uncle Freddie’s futuristic predictions.

I am publicly asking Uncle Freddie with his psychic ability, to look into his crystal ball and give me the winning numbers for the local Lotto! Yes, if he can forecast what can happen in 2011, then telling me this week’s winning numbers is a simple task.

THE Parrot has found a path which can lead to enormous wealth.
No, I am not squawking about the fabled city of gold, El Dorado, which, as history would show, many who came centuries ago in its quest, were unsuccessful in finding it.

Some lost their lives in those expeditions. Some believe that El Dorado was responsible for the many that came, hence our racial diversity. I am no history buff; I am just saying what I am told.

My new-found path to financial success seems not so tedious and life threatening as the El Dorado expeditions.

On “paper”, as they say in cricketing terms, it looks simple. All I have to do is to get the person who I believe can lead me to such riches, to agree to help.

Problem is, the person himself needs help, not necessarily financial. Given his public demeanour, physiological help seems the only option. The question is, why would I need someone who needs help to help me? The answer is simple; when riches are at stake, no one gives a darn where the help comes from.

The person who can help me get rich is Uncle Freddie from the Waterfall paper. Yes, same vile, rabid and Freudian-saturated Uncle Freddie. Same Uncle Freddie who dedicates all his time and energy to daily “busing up” Uncle Bharrat and his administration rather than teaching the students down at UG.

Some boys seh that it’s good thing Uncle Freddie don’t really find much time to teach, since if he did, they would be very “afrightened” as to what really would be imparted given his public pronouncements.

Many have pronounced on Uncle Freddie’s pronouncements. Some believe that if Uncle Freud was around, he would have pronounced too. Anyway, back to soliciting Uncle Freddie’s help for my enrichment. His public pronouncements have shown an uncanny ability for him to predict the future. Yes, Uncle Freddie claims to be a Psychic; a “see-far” man.

This ability was further confirmed last Tuesday, (Sept. 29) in the Waterfall paper when he detailed what would happen in the 2011 General Elections. Mind you, he didn’t theorise or postulate; he is certain that Uncle Bharrat would contest the said Elections as the House of Freedom’s candidate.

Uncle Freddie even boasted that during a related conversation, he was the only one to be so assured. All of his colleagues views in the said conversation, probably including Uncle Glenn and Uncle Adam, differ from him.

Yet he is certain, so certain that he is “unafrightened” to put his name to such predictions. Again, mind you, Uncle Bharrat has publicly dismissed on many occasions such postulations.

He, Uncle Bharrat, said clearly that he is not interested. The Constitution doesn’t allow it. Even Uncle Bob from the Place of CONgress said he will not give support.

No attempt has been made to support Uncle Freddie’s pronouncements, and given Uncle Bharrat’s position on the issue, none will be forthcoming.

So why is Uncle Freddie harping about something that hasn’t happened and from all indications, will not happen? Simple; other than finding something to write about, Uncle Freddie realised that not all the time he will have negative things to write about the administration. Uncle Bharrat has ensured that the development of the social and physical infrastructure is ongoing at an unprecedented pace.

As such, Uncle Freddie is agitated since the issues which attract his poisonous pen, are dwindling rapidly, like water in a drought, as a result of development.

In an effort to keep his column, Uncle Freddie has shifted his focus from issues to personalities and to psychic predictions. However, the Parrot, being eager to be enriched, can benefit from Uncle Freddie’s futuristic predictions.

I am publicly asking Uncle Freddie with his psychic ability, to look into his crystal ball and give me the winning numbers for the local Lotto! Yes, if he can forecast what can happen in 2011, then telling me this week’s winning numbers is a simple task.

The Parrot is willing to share the jackpot with Uncle Freddie if he provides the winning numbers! A percentage of such sharing can be worked out; “hand wash hand mek hand come clean” as the local adage suggests.

I believe Uncle Freddie would not be indisposed to help in providing the numbers since, as dem boys seh, he was helped by others in the construction of his immodest abode.

You know, you help me, I help you. So, it’s up to you Uncle Freddie to help a brother out. I know that you may want to keep the numbers to yourself and take the entire sum. Can’t blame you if you do. My public plea is to see how compassionate and generous you are.

I am counting on you. I just hope that, for the sake of my enrichment, your supernatural ability to predict the future doesn’t turn out to be a fable like the city of El Dorado. If it does, then there will be nothing else for you to write about.
You may have to resort to cleaning balls; crystal balls. Squawk! Squawk!